So I decided to spill my feelings onto the page last night about self-pity. Then I wake up this morning and read my Daily Devotional. “You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent.” It’s ok to complain to God, but “Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out.” OUCH!!
I’ve been trying to read my Bible again, trying to read my devotionals again and trying to hear from God again. I think He just schooled me.
Haven’t written in awhile. Sometimes I just don’t want to. Sometimes I feel like I should.
If i do write and try to get all of this crap out of me and onto this page, does it relieve me of the weight of it? Maybe.
Bob still seeing the neurologist, is on antidepressants and will soon start a memory-helping drug. He’s also seeing speech and cognitive therapist weekly. Helping? Don’t know. Because I’m in a weird quicksand of feeling sorry for myself because I don’t have my husband back yet.
And to be honest, I just don’t want to be his nurse anymore. So if he’s seeing the right doctors, and therapists…can’t I just take a break?
Well. There. Do I feel better? 🙂
God please stay close. I need you to reach down and pull me out of this quicksand.