Mother’s Day has passed.  May 13th has passed.  We made it.

On Mother’s Day we gathered at the Garden, we saw the tree that was planted, we ate lunch and visited.   Not a lot of tears, just togetherness.

Then the week played out and I thought about everything that happened a year ago…the funeral was a year ago friday.  Friday was a bad day.  Then Saturday and Sunday came and I wondered who was still here after the funeral last year, what did we do, when did everyone leave?  Why does my memory feel so fuzzy?

Weird, sad week.  I figured that Mother’s Day would be the worst day, and in actuality it was the easiest.

Still working through this weird world of grief, but maybe (just maybe) I’m beginning to find my way.

 

 

May 9, 2013
I am preparing for Mother’s Day, but I have no mom. I told Katie that I would lock myself in my bedroom all day, because I have no mom. Katie said, “Then I guess I’ll have no mom on Mother’s Day either.” Touché. I guess that rules out that plan.

We had some generous friends donate to a garden nearby, for us to plant a tree in her memory.
Our family will all gather together (as many of us that are able) and have a picnic at that garden, now that the tree and plaque are installed. Not a sad thing, but a “togetherness” thing.

Hard to believe she’s been gone a year already. I still miss her every day. The pain is different, but not gone. Still a hard day to face. Mother’s Day, the day my mom left.

I’ll have to find new things to celebrate on Mother’s Day. Will keep my eyes and heart open, and it will not be hard to find something if I keep looking.