I Call God…What?

Connor and Blake call me Gram.  Or at least they did call me Gram up until about a month or so ago.  Now when they see me they yell, “Grammy!” or in Blake’s case (he is “G” challenged at the moment) “Dammy!”

My heart absolutely melts when they call me Grammy.  It is sooo sweet, sooo special.  Gram is fine, but Grammy is personal (they thought it up by themselves), and affectionate, and just so darn cute.

 They still occasionally call me Gram, or Gram-a-lama-ding-dong when Connor is being silly.  (Is this where I insert that they’ve grown fond of “idiot!” when they’re angry??  I heard one of their favorite cartoon characters using this lovely one…they pick up EVERYTHING!)

Grammy seems to be reserved for the following:

  1. When they haven’t seen me in a while they yell, “Grammy!!!” and run toward me at full speed as if to tackle me.
  2. When they want something from me they put on their sweet voice, “Grammy, can I have that Star Wars Lego set I saw on the TV?”
  3. When they’re snuggling up to me at night before sleep and have the almost-asleep groggy voice, “I love you Grammy.”

It is my favorite term of endearment.  Gram is the everyday name, Grammy is the special one.

We had a slumber party last night.  As I lay in bed sandwiched between Connor and Blake – or should I say early this morning, like 3:30 AM early – I thought about the names that they call me.  Most slumber parties include Blake’s 3:00 AM strawberry milk request.  Blake’s soft voice wakes me with “Dammy, I need strawberry milk.”  Even though I don’t like being awakened at this hour, it seems palatable when it is with Blake’s soft, sweet, slow “Dammy”.

I retrieved the strawberry milk, watched Blake grab for it with eyes still closed, and suck it down.  While I lay there trying to fall back asleep, I thought about my relationship these two precious boys, and about my relationship with God.  What do I call God?  Do I call him God mostly, Father when I need something, Lord when I am in trouble….?  Do I have different names for him?  I do, but why? How do I decide what to call Him?

Marilyn Hickey has a book, “The Names of God”.  I think about my names for God.  Healer, Provider, Comforter, Strong Tower, Father, Holy…but what do I CALL Him?

What makes him feel the way I do when I hear “Grammy”?

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The Harvest

G-Ma and C
He is Faithful
Connor’s Tomato

har·vest

from dictionary.com–

-the season when ripened crops are gathered. 

-a crop or yield of one growing season.

 -a supply of anything gathered at maturity and stored.

 -the result or consequence of any act, process, or event.   

When my 1st Grandson, Connor was so very sick and in the Neonatal ICU for so long…my mom and I would visit him daily.  I would read to him and sing to him BUT my mom would talk to him and tell him about his future. 
She would frequently say to that seemingly lifeless little body, “Connor, one day you will work with me in my garden.  You and grandma will plant tomatoes, zucchini, peppers and more.  We will water them and watch them grow.  I will let you pick tomatoes!  One day you will be my little gardener.  You will be grandma’s little helper.”
 
She spoke in faith.  She planted the SEED of FAITH. 
We have watched that FAITH SEED grow into a healthy, beautiful, curious, intelligent, precious harvest…who picks tomatoes! 
 
I will remember our past Harvests; and plant new seeds of faith for our future harvest.  Bob is healed, whole, a new man who does not and will not walk in sickness BUT will walk in health.
God help me to water THIS seed of faith daily.  I will wait for my harvest – again.
 
 

Holding On

8.22.11

Hebrews 10:23 (New International Version)

23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful

HOLD on.  Don’t swerve.  HOLD ON.  He is faithful

Even if I freak out and stand on top of a mountain and yell, “I can’t take this anymore!  I’m having a nervous breakdown!  I’m not strong enough for this again!  I need help!  Please, someone hear me!  Help me!!  Anyone?  Anyone?”    Bueller?  Bueller? 

No one answers ….

So where do I go?  Who can I turn to?  I am a talker…when I have a problem I usually need to talk it out with someone.  But I feel that I’ve ‘talked’ everyone close to me to the limit.  Yikes–I’m even sick of listening to me.  So I turn to the One who I know is limitless.  He always listens. 

And when I turn to Him, and talk/yell/complain/cry to HIM…a strength inside of me rises up.  God in me?  It is so hard to find that strength again and again and again.  Every day.  Every minute.

So many things pushing it down…life.   But I will HOLD ON.  I have no choice.