Wednesday started like any other day, except for that nagging weird chest pain I was ignoring.  By about lunch time I couldn’t ignore it any longer, and after the persistant prodding from my sister and daughter I decided to leave work.  I just wanted to go home and ignore the pain, they wanted me to go to the Emergency Room.  

Half way home, driving through a snow storm, I became more short of breath and a little light headed and thought maybe  I should just drive to the ER.  I started to pray out loud and calmed myself a bit, deciding to just go home and relax.  At home, the shortness of breath wouldn’t leave, the pain stayed constant.  I started to freak out a bit, “Holy crap, I think I may be having a heart attack!”  I took 2 baby aspirin (the only aspirin we had in the house) and tried to remember what else to do in case of heart attack.  All I could think was RELAX!!

Bob had been home sick all week, and he was stationed in his usual spot in his recliner with all the curtains pulled.  Monday he’d spent all day at the doctor’s office getting IV fluids – he’s sick again.  Always sick again.  So, maybe the fact that Bob had been sick again, and I had dreamed the night before that I was at his funeral consoling everyone, should tell me that I was holding some stress in a bit.  Was Bob giving me a heart attack??

Aimie came over, the pain was worse, the shortness of breath not gone.  I was very light headed.  She told me that she was taking me to the ER, and this time I didn’t argue.  As we drove through the snow that was falling heavier, I listened to her giving my dad instructions on what  to do with the kids, when to feed them, how to arrange Nick picking them up….and I had to tell her, “Shhhh, just drive and don’t talk please.”

They triaged me pretty quickly into a room, “Chest Pain in room 10!”  I saw that my blood pressure was 160/100 and thought, “Holy crap, I think I may be having a heart attack!”  2 EKGs, cardiac enzymes, clotting tests, chest X-rays,  a stress test and lots of IV Morphine later – by the way IV Morphine is good stuff!! – they were sending me home with a diagnosis of pleurisy (inflammation of the lining of the lung).  They don’t have a reason why, but the good news is – no heart attack.

For a breif momement while laying there on that stretcher, being poked with needles and hooked up to oxygen and EKG leads I thought about my mom, “She hated this.”  And I cried.  I was afraid and I wanted her.  I wanted to tell her how much I hated that she had to go through that, I wanted her to tell me it was all going to be okay, I just wanted to cry.  Aimie was very good, very calm, and she prayed for me.  She comforted me and I stopped crying.

So now I’m home, on anti-inflammatory medicine and pain pills.  Bob is still sick, and sounds like he’s coughing up a lung.  I can’t deal with that.  My dad told me yesterday that he fainted, I can’t deal with that.  And there are contractors here working in my basement – BANG! BANG! BANG!

I’m trying to relax – BANG! BANG! BANG!  I’m going to take another pain pill.