Roaming

Just took a quick trip to St. Louis to see my high school girl friends and my niece’s first “big girl” apartment.  Fun, exhausting trip.
On the flight home (small plane) the flight attendant , as usual announced, “The captain has turned off the fasten seat belt sign so you are free to roam about the cabin…But should you stay in your seats please keep your seat belts firmly fastened.”
Maybe I’m just really tired, but where would one ROAM in an airplane cabin?  Roam?! Really?
I realize this is a random post, but it got me thinking….maybe we should choose our words more carefully.  Instead of roam; maybe stand, stretch your legs, use the lavatory, but roam…. aimlessly about?
Yes, I’m tired, and didn’t really plan on roaming anyway.  But I will start thinking more about MY word usage, should I confuse anyone else into roaming.

Doves

Mom and dad were bird watchers, and squirrel watchers.  Dad still puts peanuts out every day for the squirrels and birds.   He says he knows every animal that shows up, even named one squirrel Red.
The day after mom died two doves came to his back yard.  He pointed them out to me.  “I’ve never seen them before, they’re new.  Do you think your mom had something to do with this?”  I said yes.
Spring is upon us again, and we are all thinking of mom.  Her favorite time of year.  I sat on dad’s porch this week and watched the new generation of toddlers running back and forth.  I asked dad, “What do you think mom would have thought of these kids? Do you ever wonder if she can see them?”
Before he could answer, two doves flew up and landed alarmingly close to us on the porch.  We pointed them out to the kids.  Dad says, “Look, there are your grandma’s doves!” They moved to a tree and stayed for a bit, watching over us.
Is it strange that I feel comfort from those doves?

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Perspective

Bob and I have been working on remodeling our basement.  After a few pipes burst, and then discovering that our basement floor was sinking due to some poor backyard drainage issues – we decided to turn a disastrous situation into a good thing by remodeling our entire basement/back patio.

I’ve had more than a few workers in and out over the weeks and have heard myself on more than one occasion respond to suggestions, “It’s just a basement.”  I am trying to stay budget conscious and really do not want to use the most high end fixtures or finishes.  It’s just a basement.

So yesterday while Bob, dad and I were painting and I overheard Bob respond to my dad when he thought he’d messed up a bit, “Don’t worry it’s only a basement.”  My entire basement  perspective changed.  

This morning I was reading about Caleb and Joshua going to spy out the promised land for Moses.  10 other men said (paraphrasing), “We’ll get our butts kicked!  We can’t take this land!  These people are giants!”  Caleb said, “Let’s go!  We’ve got this!”  

Perspective.  Caleb was adjusting his attitude, his perspective from a place of great faith.

Whether it’s just a basement, or a huge battle to take your promise it’s all about perspective.  I hope I keep my perspective grounded in faith.  And…good paint choices.  🙂

  

Ebb & Flow

Does everyone’s relationship with God, or for that matter with anyone, have an ebb and flow?
Definition:
: a condition or rhythm of alternate forward and backward movement or of alternate decline and renewed advance

 Saw an old friend this past weekend and had a wonderful visit.  Upon leaving I asked, why don’t we see each other more?  Why does a relationship take so much work.  Does my relationship with God take so much work, too?  

If so, am I up to the task, am I putting in the work that is required? I would say over the past few years no.

Mom’s been gone almost 3 years. I’ve missed her. That relationship didn’t take work. The funk I’ve been in over losing mom (and the myriad of other losses I’ve suffered) have caused me to ebb, and have taken me away from God. I ebbed, and I should have flowed. I retreated, I fell back. I was tired, scared, confused, and just lost. All excuses that I readily used to fall into this backward movement that I’m experiencing. Is it time to advance again? I’m praying that God will pull me into that place where I need to be, closer to Him. I want to experience a new relationship with Him. Where He can flow.

I do.

Marriage is hard.  Sometimes I think I want something out of it that may just be impossible. Doesn’t God tell me all things are possible with Him?  So I’ll keep on hoping.
But just to vent, I do not want to be the strong one in this relationship forever.  I understand that there was a season of necessity.  I stepped up when I had to.  But is this strength and perseverance meant to be constant now?  And if so, can I do this? (Ummm, chest pain?)
Sometimes I just want someone to take care of ME.
Done venting.  Will pray more, pray that God steps up
and comforts me. He has before, He will again.
The chest pain….still here, not as bad.