Celebration

When we received our wonderful news yesterday, we were also informed that Bob’s platelets were low and he’d need a transfusion. He’s still got some recovering to do. He asked, “How much longer before I start to feel like I have energy?” Could be as long as three months, but he should feel a little bit better every day.

Yesterday I was hoping he’d feel a lot better! I was hoping for a celebration! But….slow down a minute…Bob’s not up for a celebration yet.

The nurse at the infusion center asked how he felt, “Great! They just told me I don’t have cancer!”
“That’s awesome Bob! How are you going to celebrate?”
“I’m going to take a nap” and he reclined the chair and fell asleep. Then we came home and he slept and puked the rest of the evening. Yep….the celebration will have to wait a bit. Maybe we’ll hold off and celebrate with mom when she gets her good news.

Good News.
I have been expecting good news, I have been setting my eyes on the good, I have been telling God that I trust Him…so why was yesterday so shocking? I didn’t even know that they’d drawn the blood to test for the cancer. Dr. M and I had a discussion before the transplant and he’d said that we would wait for 90 days to see if the transplant had worked. He said, “Kim, don’t even think about results for 3 months,” so I wasn’t.

Yesterday Meghan said, “Well last time things went badly, and the news wasn’t so good…so we thought we’d just not tell you anything for 90 days…but this was good news. I knew you’d want to know.”

Yes. Last time Bob had a transplant we heard, “We’re so sorry, it didn’t work. It failed. But we can start experimental treatments…..”
Oh yes, I remember. That’s why the decision to go through this horrific experience again was such a hard one to make. You don’t forget someone telling you that you have failed transplant. I guess the same as you don’t forget someone telling you that the transplant was a success.

Yes, maybe the celebrating will come later. When mom gets her good news. When Bob feels alive. When I’ve mentally digested all of this.

I’m still a little numb. But…comfortably numb. (I know, I know…Pink Floyd again)

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