So my homework from church was to recite “Holy Spirit help me to recognize and understand what you’re saying, follow your directions and strengthen my faith and trust in God.” Then to listen and write what I heard.
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to hear complaining, and to hear bad news, and to hear negativity? But to hear God….to hear good news….I have to REALLY listen. I have to be reading my Bible every day. So I’m reading every day, I’m listening to God through His Word. I’m trying to hear HIM….and not cancer.
Yesterday: ‘God shoulders our burdens’ I have to remember to LET HIM Today: JC says ‘All authority has been given to me on heaven and on earth’ WOW. All authority. So I’m praying to the one who has ALL authority. He rules.
Updates: Mom has started new chemo. 28 day cycle. A shot every day for 7 days in a row, then off for 21 days. Then starts again. After 2 cycles the doctor wants another bone marrow biopsy to see if this chemo is working. He said, “If this one doesn’t work we have some new drugs that have come out…and some experimental drugs that have shown some promise….” Mom responded, “No, this one will work. This is it.” From her lips to God’s ears! Hey Jesus, you know that authority thing you’ve got going on? Well how about some authority over this situation. Take authority over cancer and tell it to GO! Please Lord, deliver her from this. She has such strong faith and is so positive…and yet is so sick of the fight.
Sick of of puking. Sick of feeling the effects of this new chemo that hurts, and bruises her, and makes her sick to her stomach and a bit flushed….and blah blah blah. We trust you God. We really do. We’re just wondering when this will end. We’re weak, but I know You are strong. I hate seeing my mom like this.
Bob: today we go to get his PICC line placed. (an IV line that will stay in for the duration of the treatment) He starts chemo tomorrow. We had our ‘sign consents for treatment’ visit on Tuesday. That’s always a fun one. By law they have to tell us everything that ‘could’ happen, and all of the ‘potential’ side effects, and that this is ‘not guaranteed’ to kill the cancer….blah blah blah. One thing that was interesting; the doctor said, “Bob as I was walking to the clinic this afternoon I was thinking about you. I said ‘Lord I hope this works'”. To which I responded, “amen!”. If that was Dr. M’s prayer I wanted to second it. Lord I hope this works. Ya…because remember last time? They told us he failed transplant. So my question has sort of been…ummmm then why do it again?? BUT I don’t want to get into that now. this post is already too long, and that’s too confusing to ME still…and hard to write about yet….
I will keep praying. I will keep reading my bible. I will keep listening for God to speak. I will keep believing that we can have what it says we can have, and that we can be what it says we can be. Because it says we can have LIFE and be HEALED.