Though Connor and Blake are brothers, only two years apart, same parents, same upbringing…they are so different. Connor finds a bug and wants to keep it in a jar, feed it, sleep with it, talk to it, essentially make it his friend. Blake finds a bug and squishes it, pulls it apart, stares at the ooze coming out of it, throws the pieces down and states, “It’s dead now.”
I have five siblings. We are all pretty different too I guess. Lately I’ve been trying to make sure that each of us are spending time with mom. I am the kid that feels she needs to have someone there every day, helping, cleaning up, cooking, making sure she’s drinking enough, etc. I guess if she were a bug I’d want to put her in a jar, feed her, talk to her, nurture her. I’m not sure that any of my siblings feel the same.
I’m not saying that any of them are pulling her apart and squishing her guts out….I’m just saying that we are all different. Everyone has a different relationship with her, so of course we are all going to be different with her. I need to remember that just because my siblings aren’t the same as I am toward her….that doesn’t mean what they are giving her is any less important. I think she needs what she is getting from each of us. And for some, maybe it’s just consistency.
Maybe the best decision is just to treat her the way I would want to be treated, if I were in her shoes; and assume that everyone else is doing the same. I just hope she doesn’t think that what I assume to be nurturing….feels like squishing to her. 🙂