Something is different

When mom was in the hospital 5 years ago…there was a specific and noticeable turning point.  One morning, after fighting so hard and long, and fevers and doctors telling her to put her “things in order and say goodbye to her loved ones” and swelling and rashes and just a battle for life…she woke one morning and said these exact words, “something is different today”.  She told us that something had broken.

Mom called me at 5:45 this morning and sounded like her old self.  She said, “Something is different today.  I’m better, something is different.”  Thank you God.  Those words were heavenly!

She had asked Paula and I to go to the doctor with her.   We did.  She told the doctor that she felt better.  He was glad that her attitude and outlook were positive.  He scheduled a Bone Marrow biopsy for Thursday.  He says our best diagnostic tool is the biopsy; we need to see no blast cells in the marrow.  Then he discussed what he may want to do if the cancer was still there….mom said she’d think about her options but told him not to worry, “I think we’re going to get good news, I’m better.”

She has had a horribly bad week.  She lost 14 pounds since seeing him last Tuesday.  Holy crap!!!!!  Has not slept well, has had muscle cramps, diarrhea, nausea, fatigue, shaking, weakness, shortness of breath and anxiety/fear.  She’s been in a battle.  But today is different.  Today is better.

We do not fear bad news.  We know that God is moving.

And thank God for Mike.  He’s going to be at Aunt Julie’s funeral on Friday.  Mom really needs for someone to be there.  He will get closure for her.


After Mom’s doctor visit

Saw the doctor with mom…Was prepared to talk to him about whether or not the chemo was working, and if it wasn’t working-why was she going to keep getting beat up with it.  And guess what?!?!  Great visit.  He says her blood work has not shown blast cells since starting this new chemo.  And she can start it next week IV instead of as subcutaneous injections.   So it should be easier to tolerate.  He also says that he couldn’t be happier with the response so far.  One more round of chemo then a bone marrow biopsy again.

So….welcome to my roller coaster.  Was walking into this visit thinking that we’d be talking about why this  chemo wasn’t working (because of some of the comments dad’s been making related to the visits they’ve been attending together), and wind up elated with what I hear.  But again…trying to remain calm and steady through it all.  Don’t want to keep riding this roller coaster of emotions.

Awwwww, who am I trying to kid – I think there is a celebration in our near future.   Thank you God!