I’m trying to ‘find my strength’ again.  Need to stop letting the enemy push me around.  Just need to stop retreating, and feeling sorry for myself. 
So…back to what I KNOW.
God is the CREATOR.  He created me, he created Bob, he created the earth, the stars the oceans the mountains the flowers.
Satan creates nothing.  Satan re-uses.  He recycles the same old thing.  He recycles my hurts, pain, problems … against me.

Satan is green.    

He is not creative.  He is boring.  So much so, that this time, this battle with cancer is so eerily the same it’s almost ridiculous. 
For example:  The life insurance agent from 7 years ago called!!  I actually laughed out loud.  You gotta be kidding me…the enemy is trying to re-use something exactly the same as before.  Wow. 
And the feeling that I have of not being loved, being alone, being abandoned by my husband.  Same.
And the work stuff being overwhelming….really overwhelming…same.
The monsters at work are different.  But really it’s all the same.  Nothing has changed.

Satan didn’t have anything new, so he used cancer again.  And he even used it the same way as last time. 
The basement flooded…A/C condenser clogged and the carpet is a mess.  The pool…ha ha….the pool (long story – next blog?).  All of this “house” stuff that never stops.  Like the extension cords that I stretched all over the house 7 years ago when Bob was in the ICU.  Now I just find myself stretching .
Things need to be done.  Weeding, the garage refrigerator needs to be cleaned out, and that cluttered closet…..
Same as before.  Life goes on.  You still have to do the dishes.
I spoke with someone who was happy, fit, relaxed….and actually got a bit jealous.  Almost cried.  Same.

The enemy is attacking me the same places as before.  Lord help me to find what I’m supposed to out of this one.  The enemy is the same…..and SO ARE YOU!
Amen.  You win God.  You are my healer, deliverer, redeemer.  You are my creative all-powerful God.  You win.  I trust you.

Because in the past God HEALED BOB….PROSPERED OUR BUSINESS…GAVE OUR FAMILY VICTORY and PEACE. 
So this time, God will do the same.  JC is the same Yesterday, Today and forever.
I’ll take more of the same.  I just need to see it clearly, through the eyes of my creator.