The “fight or flight response” is our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.
Something happened this week to remind me that we are in a “fight or flight” situation. It’s not that I don’t realize every single day that we are under a huge amount of stress, and it’s not that I don’t realize every single day that Bob and I are fighting cancer again. I am aware that we are not functioning normally when faced with normal tasks, BUT I think I’ve just come to realize that this is a fight or flight situation, and the reaction of fight or flight is very different in each of us.
I think I’ve been choosing flight mode. Run away, hide from it. Don’t face it. Avoid it. I know it’s there, it’s still constantly nagging at me; but I guess I think that if I can run away from it or hide from it, I won’t have to deal with it. Funny. I’m reading about fight or flight reactions and most women tend to flee. How far can I run? How far can I go before I have to turn around and face it head on? Maybe I’ve reached that point.
Bob has chosen to fight. Thank you God! For awhile I thought he was not going to fight, he wanted the easy way out. Bob has been weary from the past fight and the current nagging illness that he’s been feeling for the past … oooohhh year or so … ontop of the past 8 years of not feeling like he ever came back to 100%. But something in Bob clicked, something happened and he just intuitively (like a good fight or flight response in men) started the FIGHT.
I hesitate to write this, but feel that it makes this post so much more understandable. Bob is a very easy-going man. But not under this much pressure…he snapped. He actually found himself in an altercation this week. There was an incident involving Bob and another man. Bob and this man had a verbal altercation over something that is not important to this story. The words lead to an actual physical altercation. Someone pushed him a bit too far, in a moment of his life when he is facing a huge fight or flight decision, the little ‘push’ (literally) lead Bob to Fight. Bob pushed back, FORCEFULLY. I hope this also relates to Bob’s fight for life. I hope that Bob will forcefully push cancer back again.
Stan and Rusty are calling Bob ‘Rocky’ now. Rocky and I went to the doctor that afternoon, after the ‘Fight’. Bob’s entire mood had changed. He’s in the fight again. We will be meeting the doctor again on Tuesday to discuss battle plans.
A quick update on mom: she’s positively wonderful. Her doctor has nothing but good things to say. Her counts are recovering nicely, and he will perform a bone marrow biopsy in a few weeks to have a diagnostic record of what we already know in our hearts. Mom is cancer free. She’s got some fight in her too…obviously.