16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.
17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
I’m trying to hold it all together..but maybe He’s got it. IF in HIM All things hold together, Why does it feel like it’s still falling apart?
I’m trying to work on this relationship with God that I thought I had. I’m not exactly mad at Him, just confused and maybe guarding myself a bit. I do keep getting glimpses of His strength, His peace, His comfort….but I’m not completely feeling that safe feeling with Him yet. I’m not sure what His will is for me. I keep feeling the world around me falling down, where is He? Is He holding it together? Is He holding me together?
There are a list of things happening, really just too much to write about yet. But I know I’m not imagining that my world is in chaos. It’s not just that mom is gone, and I’m not dealing well with her loss and seeing everything else through grief. Everything else really is a mess too. How much can one handle?
For now I’m going to have to work through this “trusting God” thing again. I’m going to have to trust that He will hold me together…even if my world is falling apart.